He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
