Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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