...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
