remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
