The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
