I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
