just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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