Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
