Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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