No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
