I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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