Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
