Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
