Yo dont text me then not text me
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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