Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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