Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
