Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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