i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
