All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
