well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
