So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
