If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
