You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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