4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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