I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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