If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize