She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
