you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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