Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
where are you?
Hypothermia
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
