Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
