What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
