Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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