i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
