Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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