We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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