once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
