I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
