Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
