when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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