he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i was born a porn star she said
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
