What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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