I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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