Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just had sex on a roof
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
