It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There's always time for handjobs
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize