How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
