Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
