i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
