You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
