I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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