Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize