She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
