I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
