Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
