I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
