WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize