went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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