You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
