And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
