Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
