there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
