I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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