Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
