Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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