but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
