Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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