The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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